Tyntesfield roofscape. The National Trust describes Tyntesfield (which is in Bristol )as a "Spectacular Victorian Gothic Revival house with gardens and parkland; a fine country house created by one of England’s richest commoners.” Shocking, isn’t it? I am aghast! And this fellow built his fortune on fertiliser! What is the Empire coming to?

   Please do not take offence; I absolutely love the National Trust. In my unworthy opinion some of the copywriters seem a bit, well, out of touch. I imagine a hundred and sixteen year old man named Sir Percival Fauntleroy Gilbert-Gibbons squeezing his monocle in place as he scrawls out the flowery descriptions necessary to pry open your coin purse.

   The description of Tyntesfield continues: "Spiralling turrets and pinnacles adorn the roof, ornate stone carvings and church-like windows complete the Gothic look, giving the feel of a mysterious, fairytale mansion. Terraced lawns give way to spacious parkland filled with hundreds of trees and a glorious walled kitchen garden lies beyond.”

   What they need to do is hire ME, see. Someone important please get on this straightaway. Even if I am a commoner, I can use my Royal Wedding Guest Name! Remember the formula? Take the given name of a grandparent, then hyphenate your first pet with the street you grew up on, and tack on the requisite Lord or Lady. Mine is Lady Leona Frisky-Fernclyffe. Please address me as such in all future correspondence.

(richwall100 on flickr)

Notes

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  19. ardentpittite said: A commoner is just someone not of the nobility, which I’m sure is all Sir Percival meant by the term. It’s not regarded as an insult. Sir P may even have been quietly chuffed that a pleb could out-build the toffs so splendidly!
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